The Drunken Dragon Hoard Membership – 2025 Edition
So, you want to be part of The Hoard? Excellent choice, adventurer. This exclusive membership grants you access to The Dragon’s Hoard for the current year (2025). But fear not, mere mortals! If you don’t join, you can still grab our legendary wares at DragonCon 2025—just visit our booth on the 2nd floor of AmericasMart like the rest of the common folk.
Why Join The Hoard?
In 2025, everything gets bigger:
🔥 Double the booth size—because a single lair wasn’t enough.
🧵 A giant embroidery machine—for crafting even more legendary gear.
📦 Free shipping for EVERYONE—because we love you (and because logistics are a nightmare).
🎁 Free swag, as always—because tradition matters.
Think of this like a Patreon, but with less podcasting and more treasure. Running the Drunken Dragon Hotel is a glorious quest, but even dragons need gold. Right now, it’s just me in my basement, with a trusty squire (a.k.a. my helper), keeping this whole thing running. This membership helps fund a small chunk of the epic battle that is DragonCon 2025, and in return, you get some seriously cool perks.
MEMBERSHIP TIERS
$100 – Hoard Member
- Official DDH “The Hoard” Membership Card – Because everything is cooler with a membership card.
- Free shipping (USA only) – And yes, in 2025 everyone gets free shipping, but you get it first.
- Exclusive access to Hoard Members-Only merchandise – Rare artifacts and enchanted relics await.
- Early access to DragonCon Booth Exclusive items – Beat the crowds, plunder first.
- We roll out the Marriott carpet for our club members – Metaphorically. (Or literally? You’ll have to join to find out.)
- ??? – There will be surprises. We just don’t know what yet.
$200 – Hoard Champion
- Everything from the $100 tier, but with extra firepower behind your support.
- No additional perks, just the satisfaction of flexing on lesser mortals.
$300 – The Grand Hoarder
- Everything from the $100 tier, PLUS:
- A full-page printed in The Drunken Dragon Hotel Booklet (1,500 copies!) – The ultimate way to reach 100% DragonCon/DDH superfans.
- Want to advertise? Post memes? Showcase your cat? Announce your gender reveal to nerds worldwide? Share the location of your secret room party?
- You can print (almost) anything you want. (We’re pretty chill, but we have the final say—no cursed scrolls or soul-binding contracts, please.)
- Size: A5 (Exact dimensions will be sent later.)
$666 – Hoard GodMode
- Everything from the $100 tier, $300 tier, PLUS:
- Custom-made pillows & duvet cover – You pick the pattern, we bring your dream (or nightmare) bedding to life. Want to sleep in a pile of gold coins? A pit of tentacles? Wrapped in the loving embrace of the Marriott carpet? It’s your call.
- Max-level VIP status – Because nothing says "I’m a true believer" like sleeping in custom nerd luxury.
- Perfect to dress up your room during Dragoncon!
Bottom Line
Your membership helps keep The Drunken Dragon Hotel running strong, and in return, you get white-glove VIP treatment. Can’t join? No worries—nothing changes for you! You’ll still get top-quality swag and free shipping in 2025.
But if you do join? You’re in for an epic ride.